Hello friends.
Hope your summers are going well right now.
So far my summer has been boring and I’m anxious to get back to Queen’s. Being home is like living another life, where I’m still a teenager not fully capable of functioning alone.
When I came back from Hong Kong i obviously had a lot of catching up to do with my friends from home, which has got me thinking about all the different friend groups that I have created through out the years. I don’t know if it’s just me or you both do the same, but I have a terrible tendency of letting some friendships slide, sometimes for months at I time. I feel terrible for not messaging or interacting with my friends on at least a weekly basis. But I’m also overwhelmed by that idea. Like when something cool happens in your life do we have to message all our friends about it so they’re on the same page?
Although I think I’ve kept all my friend groups small at some point I’ve let a few of them go, group messages have been left to go quiet. In my mind when I leave home some sort of pause button is pressed, not allowing any major events to occur while I’m not there. It’s a silly thought I know. People change and shit happens. Its strange to see my high school friends grow and move on. Which now that i think about it is incredibly selfish. One of my friends Melina is going on a RV roadtrip across Canada to BC with this boy she met a few months ago. While im so excited for her to travel and do what she wants it saddens me to think that the next time I’m home she won’t be there. I guess you could call my home friends the dependable ones and now all of the sudden they aren’t so dependable any more. Her leaving has really brought a lot of things into perspective for me. What is really the definition of a good friendship? Is it constant communication, nights out, Skype sessions?
While working my dumb summer job I’ve realized I need to find a career that doesn’t feel like work. Being an adult sounds so bleak. Like you work all day then you have a few free hours before you have to do it all over again. It’s actually quite depressing. And I definitely don’t think I’m ready for that.
Since I’ve been home I’ve volleyed dozens of questions about what I’m going to do once I graduate. Which is scary a fuck. For the first time there is no predictable next step for us. Go to elementary school, then high school, then university, then what ? Find a job? Go to grad school?
I don’t know if I’m the only one thinking about this but I have this constant anxiety, constant pressure as I’m desperately on the lookout for a career I’m passionate about.
It doesn’t seem real that this will be our fourth year at Queen’s. I feel to young too inexperienced to be shoved into the working world. I’m hoping this next year will go by slowly but, I’m sure it will be over in a blink of an eye.
On a positive note this April marks our 4th full year of being friends! How amazing and beautiful is that?! I can’t tell you both enough how much I appreciate and love your unique selves. So many small encounters and microscopic decisions have brought us where we are today and I can’t help but be appreciative.
Bonus thought: when we all get together we should go through the blog from start to finish!
Weekly recommendations:
Lightbycoco on YouTube (I’ve told you both about my minimalist obsessions and I live for coco’s videos)
Also I’ve been really into podcasts lately so here’s my top 3:
The worst idea of all time (2 boys from New Zealand review grown ups to every week for a year!)
Serial: a real crime drama told in podcast form
Enjoy and I’ll see you both in the flesh soon!
Alexa
partyinthenotusa 