I would like to apologize for my lack of posts, but these last few weeks/months have been wild!
Growing up I always felt very connected to the Holocaust. It was a subject that triggered emotions and unexplainable feelings — even as a kid. There wasn’t enough literature I could read, not enough movies I could watch, and not enough opportunities to hear Holocaust survivors speak. Going to Poland to visit the camps to get a visual understanding of the horrific and malicious Holocaust was something that I felt like I needed to do my whole life. I signed up for a Poland trip with my school in December, but days before the trip I felt this queasy feeling — a feeling telling me that maybe I wasn’t ready or maybe this wasn’t the best thing to do. First, we visited the Lodz Ghetto and Treblinka extermination camp. Treblinka is one of the most beautiul places I’ve visited — and that made me so upset. How could a place where 900,000 people were murdered exist in such greenery and peacefulness? I was experiencing cognitive dissonance, this was something my brain couldn’t process and believe because my surroundings were so beautiful. In Treblinka, there are 17,000 stones representing each Jewish community that no longer exists today. I stood by one rock and said “this is my Jewish community today”. I looked around at all the other rocks representing the Jewish communities and I just thought of all the people that perished with these communities. What made these communities special? What were the people like? Which languages did they speak? Then I took a look at all the trees, realizing that these trees are the same trees that witnessed all the atrocities that occured at this camp. I felt this heavy weight on my shoulders and as a group, we sang the Israeli national anthem “HaTikvah” meaning “The Hope”. The lyrics suddenly had a different meaning to me and I noticed that the trees surrounding this extermination camp stood a little taller out of respect.
We visited Majdanek concentration camp which was horrific. This camp is located 5kms from Lublin’s city centre. This huge camp is visible to anyone driving by, and is apparently a very popular destination to walk your dog and take a bike ride. This camp was used to destroy people on an industrial level, and was used as a tool of fear, to show the local people living in the neighborhood to abide by Nazi command. 2,000,000 Jews were killed here and I felt so sick. The camp had a very strong and vulgar smell. We went inside one of the gas chambers where there are scratch marks on the walls and blue stains from the cyclone-B poisonous gas. There is a monument which is a visual representation of the 7 tonnes of ash from the burnt bodies. The heaviness of my shoulders and the way I felt is a feeling that I can’t describe. My lips were glued together, and my shoulders curled into a question mark to ask the question “why?”. Why did these people deserve this?
At midnight we went to a neighborhood, turned on our flashlights and walked into the middle of a forest. There were 8 massive graves in this forest..graves of Jewish adults, Romas, Disabled individuals, and children. We lit candles at the childrens’ graves — I lit a candle for the kids who never had a chance to celebrate another birthday.
When visiting a concentration camp, any reaction is a normal reaction as there is no “normal” way to react. At Auschwitz I didn’t feel what I was expecting to feel. Auschwitz was a museum where the line was out the door. It didn’t feel personal to me. Auschwitz-Birkenau really shocked me in terms of size — I was shocked at how HUGE that place is, again, cognitive dissonance, something my brain could not process. Hearing the stories of Dr. Mengele always makes me feel queasy. There is a book of names with 4.2 million individuals who perished in the Holocaust. Finding names of my family members made my experience feel more personal and taught me that no matter how much I studied about the Holocaust, there is always so much more learning to be done. The Holocaust is a shattered part of history. A primitive, horrific, and malicious way of playing with emotion, fear, and life. Where resiliency, friendship, and hunger had a different meaning. Where stubbornness (in terms of the drive to survive) is seen as a positive trait. How heroism is defined by giving up a piece of bread and how dehydrated lips could still speak words of wisdom, prayer, and encouragement. May we remember the 6 million and may history never be forgotten.
I started to really process my feelings when I landed in Israel. I had one day of class and then I headed to Istanbul with my friends.
I really enjoyed Istanbul! It was obvious that Turkey is a very male-dominant country, but the people were all so friendly and always willing to help. Everything is written in Turkish, Arabic, and Russian as there are so many Russian tourists. We spent our days exploring Istanbul, visiting the famous and beautiful mosques, exploring the markets, taking a ferry between the European part of Istanbul and the Asian part, and EATING. The food was so cheap and SO delicious (my type of vacation)! I ate lots of lamb kebabs, donair, baklava, Turkish delights, Turkish nutella bagels, fresh pomegranate juice and Turkish coffee and tea. The Grand Bazzaar is massive. I ordered a tea for 1Lira (50 cents) and I walked around the market with my glass cup! I did some Turkish dancing at a restaurant and had the best time with my friends ☺
Cappadocia is one of the most unique and beautiful places I’ve been to! Cappadocia is known for their cool mountains, largest underground city (26 floors below ground), and hot air balloons. Unfortunately, due to poor weather we did not get to see the hot air balloons. We spent our time hiking the mountain, visiting the “Open-Air” museum, and having true Turkish experiences of Turkish bath and massages (the most intimate massage I have EVER received…she almost massaged my clitoris).
This past few weeks have been flying by and have been the highlights of my semester. I went through a really bad and emotional break-up last week, but this week has honestly been incredible. Last Sunday was Yom HaStudent (Student Day), where all students in Jerusalem are invited to see live free concerts (and we get the day off school)! My favourite Israeli band, Hadag Nahash, played at 2:30am and it was one of the best concerts of my entire life ☺!!
My friend Effi and I were asked to speak at the Rothberg International School’s closing ceremony. We wrote our speech a few hours before we presented, and it was one of the funniest moments of my life. I was drunk on stage and we made funny jokes about our semester, the different people at our school, and how Israelis and Israeli tinder is so different than what we are used to. It was honestly a live-stand-up show in front of 100 people and was on of the highlights of my year.
On the hottest day last week, our program took us rappelling! We rappelled a total of 62 metres. Everytime I rappel I remember how much I dislike the unnatural feeling of scaling down a mountain. The feeling I always appreciate is the feeling of accomplishment when completing the challenge and…taking a nap in the desert. I had some Turkish coffee and relaxed while hanging out in the Qumran region, and I remembered how small I was in comparison to the rest of the world. I felt so relaxed (and maybe a bit dehydrated).
Shavuot, is the holiday where the Jews received the Torah, was something magnificent. Religious people have the tradition of spending the night studying and it is a tradition to be in Jerusalem (woohooo). My friends and I spent all night talking, eating really yummy and cheesy foods (it’s a custom to eat cheesecake haha) and walked to the Western Wall. I actually ran into (casually) the Chief Rabbi of Israel, who smiled and wished me a happy holiday! At 4:30am, it felt like a zombie apocalypse and everyone was walking to the Western Wall at the same time. I have never seen it that packed — it was an indescribable feeling. I walked back a bit early, watched the sunrise and went to bed at 6am. What a magnificent feeling. My last holiday in Jerusalem this year ☹.
Coming up: Anna says goodbye to all her friends and favourite places, has an emotional breakdown, and goes Dragon Boat Racing on the Kinneret. Let’s hope all her clothes and Israeli swag fits into her suitcase!
Love, Anna!
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